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Article #232: "Chocolates, Beer, Bikes & Barges" - Adventures for Singles, Belgium & Holland 2006

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We arrived to cosmopolitan Brussels with Amsterdam for 4 days of touring pleasure.
3 lost bags and 1 missing person. One We boarded our private glass topped boat
suitcase went to Moscow but all caught up and cruised through a labyrinth of
eventually. Janice and I led a perfect canals. Amsterdam has 140 miles in all.
size group of 39, not too big to get lost Our wonderful guide Marilyn commentated
in or too small for comfort. on the picturesque neighborhoods and
Each July trip draws school teachers who unique architecture. I photographed the
have loyally followed me around the world world's skinniest house, built in 1664.
and they do love Europe. We began with a It was 5 stories high and only the width
light orientation tour in the historic of the front door! Many locals live on
heart of this capital, followed by a tour houseboats and the area starts to
of the Chocolate Museum. I found this resemble a floating trailer park. Holland
boring, but the tastings were great. is about 100' below sea level. Pumps are
After a nap at the Sheraton, we enjoyed a used to constantly pump out water and
welcome dinner at Chez Leon, a typical basements do not exist.
Belgium Brasserie located on the charming The beer drinkers in this group loved the
"Rue de Restaurants." You can get mussels "Heineken Experience" with plenty of
in Brussels, but not brussel sprouts. And tastings and virtual games all over this
the french fry as it was invented here. famous brewery. The shoppers liked the
Our menu consisted of egg puff pastry Coster Diamond Factory where we learned
with Ardennes mouseline sauce, Flemish about cutting and polishing the precious
beef stew in Grimbergen ale and a dark stones. They locked us in a room with
chocolate mousse cake on a bed guards where a gazillion euros worth of
buttercream which was a culinary diamonds were displayed. We each had are
masterpiece never to be forgotten. I own agenda for free time. The art lovers
always say that a loud group is a happy explored the national museums of
group, but I think their decibel level Rembrandt and Van Gough. Many toured Ann
here may have been due to their Franks House where one can really sense
indulgence of amber ales. 428 different the drama as she hid from the Nazi's in
types are brewed in this country the tiny attic writing her diary. Others
including a popular new blueberry beer. went to Edam for cheese and Delft for
Later we scattered like chickens into the porcelain. I visited friends and indulged
Grand Place which is considered by most on Dutch pancakes of every style
to be the worlds most beautiful square. imaginable.
It comes to life at night every July with One day we visited Zaanse Schans, a
a light show and various unlicensed typical village for total Dutch
entertainers. One young lady is dressed immersion. We began at the Ratterman Clog
in candy tempting men to buy a bite. Factory where 3 million pairs are
If it's Tuesday, it must be Belgium. produced annually. They're used for
After breakfast, we began our morning working in the fields and are still worn
walking tour of the 17th century Grand today. Wooden shoes do not stretch so how
Place. It was actually 8:30 Sunday can locals proclaim these to be
morning and I marveled that in over a comfortable? I prefer my Jimmy Choo's
dozen visits here, I've never seen this stilettos and instead buy tulip bulbs for
place so empty. It echoed in silence as souvenirs. We then visit a cheese farm
tourists slept and the locals were gone and watched as they separated curds from
for holiday. Sunlight brilliantly flooded whey. Here we bought enough wheels of
the gothic cathedrals, classical facades flavored Goudas to make Wisconsin
and art nuveau houses. We were alone and jealous. [We never considered the weight
it was breathtaking. it would add later to our carry-ons.] We
We then visited the famed confectioner explored the open air museum with a
"Planet Chocolate" that opened especially backdrop of working windmills. There were
for our group. Pedestrians peered in the also small period cast farms with curious
windows with curiosity. A great ducks, goats and sheep.
demonstration was given by chocolatier That evening I had dinner with a friend I
Jon, grandson of the founder of this usually only see once every 5 years. Paul
factory renowned for producing 67 says, "Suzy, you are like a good old book
different flavors. We learned about the in the library of my life that I tucked
history of cocoa. The ancient Mayans away. You re-enter out of nowhere. I dust
considered it an aphrodisiac and it off and the memories return." As we
Montezuma consumed it in copious amounts. catch up, I thought I had some stories to
It was made famous in Belgium by J. tell but his life is as captivating as a
Nuehus who added the praline hazelnut best selling novel. He is an undercover
cream. Each cocoa fruit contains 25 agent in the Special Forces, trains Dutch
beans. The best comes from Ghana, Ivory combat troops in Germany preparing for
Coast and Indonesia. We learned all about tours in Kabul, works narcotics
the roasting and fermenting processes. infiltration and is a body guard for the
Jon expounded on how healthy his dark royal family. Kind of like Jack Bauer on
chocolate is with more magnesium and "24." Everything is "top secret" yet he
antioxidants. He even asserts that it reveals that he basically gets paid by
boosts energy and thus helps you loose the government to work out daily.
weight...convoluted thinking. It was Recently he transported orangutans form
however, once sold at chemists as the Amsterdam zoo to freedom in Borneo.
antidepressant medicine and unlimited The highlight of this trip for me was our
amounts were given to soldiers in wartime 2 hour city tour on bicycles. We looked
to combat stress. At the end of the like a motley crew as we headed out into
lecture, silver trays of truffles were narrow cobbled streets and over countless
presented along with a cup of hot bridges. As I peddled, I observed my
ganache, which tasted like chocolate group behind me. One woman is nearing 70,
soup. I never really cared for chocolate two are smoking cigarettes, Janice is
but it was infatuation at first bite. talking to America on her cell and one
Our next stop was Chocolate Manon which I unmentionable crashes into a car! She had
was told is run by a "chocolate nazi" who to pay the driver for damages on the
will lock the doors if we're one minute spot. It took complete concentration to
late. This small factory concentrates on cross the busy tram tracks. That morning
quality over quantity and fancy we rode through Vodelpark and the Red
packaging. The educational presentation Light district. It was interesting to see
was given by the owner Christian, who is the prostitutes as they just woke up to
both serious and hilarious. He only uses get their coffee dressed in jeans and
the highest quality vanilla, sugar, sneakers.
butter and 70% cocoa powder. This is a Holland is the land of the free. With
real factory with enormous chocolate prostitution legal, my group is most
blocks piled high and brown drippings inquisitive on this matter. We laughed as
everywhere. Sorry Hershey's, but the Marilyn said," Suzy, they all ask
cocoa here is not replaced with palm oil, questions on sex. Are they frustrated?"
chemicals, coloring, vegetable fats and I arranged a professional guided walking
lard. This is as pure as it gets and it's tour of the Red Light district in the
better than Swiss. They sell direct to oldest part of Amsterdam for the world's
Bergoff and Neimans in NYC. There are 443 oldest profession. Since the 1400's,
chocolate factories in Belgium all with seamen would dock here to unload. Guides
the competitive spirit of Tour de France Gabriel and Shuert boldly led us through
between them. Godiva still reigns alleys of half clad ladies. No photos
supreme. allowed. We're told that some fear it'll
Christian explained that white chocolate go out on the web. Our guides explained
is really an oxymoron. It contains only that some women are forced here nowadays
milk, sugar, cream and 21% white cocoa and some are simply ashamed. Ladies
butter. As he lectured, he continually differ in size, shape and color as we
dipped his finger in to vats to taste his strolled through different quarters. On
latest batch, while quickly running back one street they're all obese. We learned
and forth with frenetic energy from molds to identify the transsexuals by two
to freezer. He has a true passion for his things surgery can't change - an adam's
product and consumes about 250 grams or a apple and a straight waist. Tastes
1/2 lb a day, yet is as thin as Calista differ; the oldest woman here is 76 and
Flockhart. only works in summer. Only half use
I love my job, but would swap a month protection and monthly health checks are
with him anytime.Over 1000 fillings are required.
used inside the hollow shells. One by There are around 1000 prostitutes working
one, hundreds of shells are filled by 500 windows. They pay 150€ to rent a
hand. Each piece is a mini-sculpture. window for 6-8 hours, and can make up to
We're invited to squeeze the ganache 450€ per day. They pay taxes and can
pastry bags, but made a terrible mess and write receipts for services rendered. If
had to eat our mistakes. Nothing is the curtain is closed they are not on
discarded here. Even table scrapings will break. The area is flooded with tourists.
be remelted. Men pay 50€ for 30 minutes, yet
Dark chocolate can be stored up to 15 statistics reveal the average time spent
years and molded into any shape. We're is just 6 minutes.
shown pictures of intricate violins, a We crossed "Pill Bridge" named for the
woman's formal dress and a life size drugs pushed there and then toured the
dinning room table and chairs all made of Erotic Museum with photographs and "tools
chocolate. of the trade" dating back to the 17th
Monday we toured this proud and regal century on display. As I pondered and
city that is revealed in its royal stared at a metal chastity belt, Gabriel
palaces, cathedrals, museums and said "that blacksmiths always had a spare
onuments. We see the headquarters of the key which came in handy when the husbands
EU and site of the 1958 World's Fair with were away at sea." She also insisted the
the massive silver Atonium. We photograph Dutch were far less promiscuous than
the Mannekin Pis. [I never understood the Americans. I was concerned about my
love of this small bronze statue but it ultra-conservative teachers but nothing
represents Brussels. Perhaps it's found seemed to shock them. After awhile, our
in the irreverence of the artist.] Paula senses were over saturated and it became
was our guide for several days here. Her dull. The saddest sight was seeing a
stellar knowledge brought the history of "heroin hooker". She was emaciated with
Belgium to life, particularly the time glazed eyes and so many track marks that
when King Leopold purchased the Congo as she had to shoot it now under her tongue.
his personal playground. Paula deeply Police cameras were everywhere 24/7,
cared for her work and later invited us there is little crime and we felt totally
to visit yet another chocolate factory, safe.
but fully sated, we declined. For free Pot and hash are legal here in over 400
time we dispersed into tiny alleyways to "coffee shops" that sell joints and
intentionally get lost. Some searched out "ganja-space milkshakes." Locals told me
beer halls or hot sugar waffles, as they felt Americans were oppressed by too
others shopped for tapestries at many rules and can't understand how our
give-away prices. drug companies can sell meds on TV.
Things become a bit blurry from here. I'd Enough on the wild side, this is also the
taken some great notes on napkins art capital of Europe boasting more
throughout and managed to loose them all museums per square foot than any other
enroute. But memory serves well as we city. Marilyn gave us a quick art lesson
head to the capital of Flanders and in a nutshell. She explained that this is
enchanting Bruges. This town is a the 400 year celebration of Rembrandt
complete UNESCO World Heritage Site with (1606-2006). He came from a family rich
a tranquil character that can't be in windmills. As a child, he was an
described. The people have done so much expert sketcher. Later in medical school,
to protect its medieval feel, it provides he did anatomical drawings of corpses
the magical affect of stepping back into from criminals. He studied more and soon
time. It is called "Little Venice" and we rose above the Dutch masters with the
enjoyed a boat cruise through the ability to capture light and shadows in
veritable maze of old canals that led to paint. He always began with a black
the Lake of Love. We strolled through canvas. Though blessed with enormous
ancient squares lined with houses of artistic talent, he couldn't manage his
gabled rooftops and various cathedrals of finances. He died penniless and was
holy this and holy that. Horse drawn entombed in a pauper's grave.
carriages filled the cobbled streets. We Van Gogh grew up a lonely child and was
entered the neo-gothic Basilica of Holy very attached to his mother. His
Blood and climbed 365 steps up the Belfry hyper-critical father didn't like his
Tower with its carillon bells that chimed artwork. He went to Paris to study the
so loud it could blow an eardrum. We impressionists. He was schizophrenic and
visited the cities finest lace shop for a when he had episodes, it was seen in his
demonstration on lace making, which I paintings that grew wilder and wilder
anticipated to be as exciting as watching each time. He cut off his ear and later
paint dry. It was however, quite committed suicide. His paintings were
fascinating watching the delicate work of discovered stored away in his family
this 500 year old cottage industry. home. We learned so much here.
We viewed an 18th century handkerchief so Many think they've seen Europe, but miss
intricate that it took 4 ladies nearly 10 the countries with the most charm. Here
years to complete! All for a distant we were enveloped by history, culture and
royal bride to blow her nose on. all that the Old Continent should be.
I think I walked 67 kilometers that day. Also this wasn't a typical EU vacation
(Life lesson #122- NEVER wears heels on with endless museums and cathedrals, but
cobbled streets.) Bruges is entirely cozy a creative itinerary which provided large
and colorful, as if stepping into a fun. Total cost was $1175 plus air (
postcard. At a café, I splurged on a 877-813-9421 or in GA 770-432-8225).
waffle topped with chocolate, fruit and Everyone's favorite stop was Bruges, but
ice cream, so far, so good. For our for me Amsterdam was an urban
entire trip we were blessed with no rain masterpiece. I found the Dutch far
and perfect weather. friendlier than other Europeans. This
I'm a city girl at heart and was happy to visit rekindled my love for the
depart for Holland. William of Orange is Netherlands, that tiny country with 2
our jovial driver who just loaded our names. This time I looked through new
suitcases that have now swelled to 71 eyeballs with my teachers who were
pieces. This is a super double-decker experiencing their first trip abroad.
with plenty of room for our 150 mile It was a wonderful group. One couple
journey. I joked on the mic as we crossed connected whom we later labeled "The
the border into Holland that there will Honeymooners" and I hope they last. In
be a 3 hour time change and never to flight home on Delta, I noticed among my
drink the water. Much to my surprise my sleepy group that some were munching on
dear novice travelers actually started their chocolates that were meant for
changing their watches! We passed many gifts back home. And once in line at US
Smart Cars manufactured by Mercedes and Customs, some were proudly wearing their
Swatch. These toy-like hybrid two-seaters new, brightly painted, uncomfortable
are expensive, but so adorable. On wooden clogs. I just have to do this trip
arrival, we checked into the Novotel again.






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