| The first 3 years of our life are the most important | | | | persuading them to give up on their dreams and |
| when it comes to our emotional state, our mental | | | | 'settle' for the expectations of their parents and |
| ability, our adult complexities; if we are made to feel | | | | society by becoming parents themselves, by saddling |
| important, if we are nurtured correctly, if our | | | | their children with responsibilities that crush their true |
| environment is stable, if our caregivers love us | | | | wishes. Parents tell their kids that they will find a soul |
| unconditionally, then we are more likely to be a | | | | mate and they will live 'happily ever after' - even |
| confident and happy adult. If we are given emotional | | | | when those same parents are divorced; and they |
| support in our first 3 years, then we are able to | | | | despise each other... |
| overcome most issues we face, no matter how | | | | I could give you a myriad of examples, I could go on |
| horrific, in the following years of our childhood and | | | | all day about the 'miseducation' a child might receive |
| our adulthood. | | | | from it's parents and caregivers, which it will then (for |
| However, if we are not given the correct emotional | | | | some bizarre reason) offer up to it's own offspring, |
| support, if we are ignored, attacked, destabilized or | | | | encouraging that child to live a life already lived a |
| abused in our first 3 years, then it is very likely that | | | | hundred thousand times over. |
| we will be unable to even deal with the most basic | | | | There has to be a better way; an alternative, an |
| parts of life as we get older; we have a weak | | | | option that does not lead to the same conclusion. |
| foundation and therefore we have no ability to | | | | There is. |
| support the complexity of our emotions as we move | | | | The truth. |
| into our teenage years and our adulthood. | | | | If we, for starters, bred with people who actually |
| Nobody is perfect, nobody ends up completely | | | | wanted to be parents, rather than breeding with the |
| balanced and totally at ease; whether we care to | | | | people we married because we wanted a baby, then |
| admit it or not, we are all riddled with issues | | | | we would give our offspring a head start; we would |
| stemming from our childhood, we all have to deal | | | | not subject them to the nightmare of failed marriage |
| with the myriad of messages we received as we | | | | and the wars of divorce, we would offer them two |
| grew up, ranging from those that came to us via our | | | | loving and caring parents who understood and taught |
| closest caregivers (our parents, nannies or teachers) | | | | the truth about human nature, about the realities of |
| through to those that we absorbed from outside | | | | life and love and relationships; two parents who |
| influences (friends, celebrities, the media) and including | | | | understood that no matter what happened between |
| those that are unique to each of us. | | | | them, the most important person was the child; two |
| When it comes to parenting, there are a few | | | | parents who would breed to succeed as parents; |
| indisputable facts that we must face up to; the most | | | | two parents who would allow each other space, |
| important of these is that we breed to satisfy our | | | | mistakes and freedom, which would probably lead to |
| ego, to further our genetic immortality, to create the | | | | a respectful and workable situation where a child |
| ultimate toy that can never again be repeated (even | | | | spent quality time with each of them and not |
| if we breed twice with the same person); every | | | | inconsistent amounts of time with one or the other; |
| baby is an original, especially in the eyes of it's | | | | two parents who would honestly and forthrightly |
| parents. Fact. And this sometimes causes a problem - | | | | explain life to a child that felt loved, nurtured and |
| over-breeding - the thrill of creating a new baby | | | | respected, a child that was treated as an adult, that |
| sometimes over-rides the issue at hand, the problems | | | | was given the chance to dream and was allowed to |
| that will have to be dealt with later on in life, whether | | | | attempt to fulfill those dreams before it was bottle |
| they be financial, emotional or environmental are | | | | necked into the life that it's parents had planned out |
| ignored for the gratification of the ego. Added to this | | | | for it from the day it was born, a child that was |
| we have the problem of people who breed to have | | | | allowed to think originally without having to succumb |
| a "baby" but forget that that "baby" will turn into a | | | | to the stupidity of society and all that it is preaching, |
| brat, an opinionated teenager and an aloof adult | | | | a child that could have it's own childhood, it's own |
| which only makes the job of parenting all the more | | | | dreams and it's own desires, separate from those of |
| difficult. It is important to remember that the | | | | it's ancestry or it's family's messed up history. |
| responsibilities of parenting last a lifetime. | | | | Tradition is imposed upon us in childhood by our |
| We no longer live in a time of high child mortality | | | | parents and family and we then think of this as |
| rates; we no longer need 'insurance' children; it is time | | | | normal, it is held over our head as a warning bomb |
| that the question of breeding was taken more | | | | that we must not allow to implode; tradition holds us |
| seriously, that parenting was viewed as a privilege, | | | | back, it stops us from becoming who we really |
| not a right. | | | | should become, it causes us to be divisive, |
| I understand the maternal instinct of a woman, I | | | | judgmental and hateful, it makes us 'different' from |
| understand that pregnancy and child birth are strong | | | | others whilst also putting us in the same box as |
| instinctual desires for the female species and I | | | | many; tradition is not good for a child, it is not |
| applaud those women that mother a child fully, | | | | conducive to creating an individual, it causes angst |
| lovingly and successfully - and by 'successfully', I | | | | and anger, separation of friendships, love and families, |
| mean in a non-judgmental, non-suffocating, | | | | it manifests disappointment in parents, it is a |
| non-expectant way; where a child is allowed to | | | | strong-arm way of creating weak-willed people; if we |
| develop it's own character, allowed to develop it's | | | | force tradition upon our children, then we force |
| own brand of lunacy, skills, achievements and goals | | | | originality out of them, and that is a travesty. |
| without being heavily guided into the desires of the | | | | I urge you to think hard, very very hard, before you |
| parents; where a child is not used to make up for | | | | breed; I urge you to question whether you have the |
| the mistakes of it's parents, or cherished as the only | | | | mettle to be a parent that will breed a significant child |
| form of unconditional love a parent ever found. This | | | | (it is too easy to produce 'yet another' one); I urge |
| is not an easy task. | | | | you to step back, be objective, look at yourself and |
| And so, to my point - | | | | your partner and question whether they have the |
| When this planet could do with less rather than more | | | | makings of a great parent or whether they just |
| humans, when we are the biggest bacteria on the | | | | want an ego boost, another possession, someone to |
| earth (destroying our host as any efficient bacteria | | | | love them unconditionally, a trophy to parade. |
| does), when we are caught in a mundane and | | | | It might not be an easy decision to make; it may be |
| predictable cycle of marriage and divorce that leaves | | | | difficult to admit the truth; but it is better to |
| children feeling guilty and confused with divided | | | | disappoint an adult than create a disappointing (and |
| loyalties, would it not be a wise move for us, as a | | | | disappointed) child. |
| species, to be honest with ourselves, to take a step | | | | Childhood is tough, at the best of times, and to put |
| back and take a good look at what we have | | | | someone through that is a responsibility that should |
| become and what we have to offer? | | | | not be taken lightly; having enough money is not a |
| From what I see, most children have the same toys, | | | | good enough reason to breed (nannies are not |
| the same gadgets, the same goals and the same | | | | parents); having too little money is a good reason not |
| desires as most other children; and it ever was thus; | | | | to breed (poverty is a curse to all concerned); being |
| whatever the media feeds them, they want; | | | | a good person is not a good enough reason either (it |
| whatever their friends have, they want; whatever | | | | takes two exceptional people to manufacture an |
| their surroundings allow, they want; and all this does | | | | exceptional child); and pleasing the generations that |
| is to create more of the same, more children, less | | | | came before you is absolutely the worst reason to |
| originality; the same problems, different generations. | | | | do anything. |
| But why? Why do we allow this to become our | | | | Children are resourceful, intelligent and flexible; they |
| legacy? How can we be proud of producing inane | | | | do not need to be told fairy tales to have an |
| consumption, unoriginal absorption, unthinking children | | | | imagination; they do not need to be lied to in order |
| that see the truth all around them, but are told and | | | | that they can function; they need the truth, they |
| sold a big fat, processed, manufactured, | | | | need love, they need to nurtured in a balanced way. |
| non-nutritious, mentally disturbing lie? | | | | Children do not need marriage - society does. |
| Parents tell their kids that Santa Claus is real - but the | | | | Before you breed, ask your partner if they would |
| kids know he isn't; he's impossible and ridiculous. | | | | adopt. If the answer is an absolute no, then they are |
| Parents railroad their children into a repetition of their | | | | not breeding to be a good parent; they just want a |
| own miserable and mundane lives - they train their | | | | mini me, and they will never be a successful parent. |
| children to follow the same mistakes they made by | | | | Guaranteed. |