| As our children go through the various developmental | | | | UNDERSTANDING - Helping our children understand |
| stages, they are capable of learning values. We | | | | their own needs and the needs of others will start |
| should encourage this development by raising | | | | children on the path to understanding relationships. |
| questions and discussing those values as they occur | | | | Ask: * What do you think are your basic needs? * |
| in real life situations. This is what I call creative, | | | | What is the difference in needs and wants? * What |
| child-centered discussion and leads to the broader | | | | do you think is different in what others may need? * |
| concept of Parenting on the Level, a common-sense | | | | Can you ask a friend about what they need? |
| approach that builds balance in day- to-day family life. | | | | ENCOURAGEMENT - The encouragement of our |
| VISUALIZE - Children are capable of self-reflection. | | | | children is essential in helping them learn to accept |
| They do this by forming mental pictures if we raise | | | | responsibility for their own behavior. Encouragement |
| questions about their behavior. Point out the child's | | | | differs from praise. By only receiving praise, the child |
| behavior and ask them: * What are you doing? * | | | | depends on our approval alone and does not learn to |
| Why do you think you keep doing this? * How will | | | | value their own opinions. * I'm glad you're pleased |
| you act in the future? | | | | with it. NOT I'm so proud of you. * Thanks; that |
| | | | helped a lot. NOT You're such a good boy! or good |
| APPRECIATION - We can help our children learn to | | | | girl! |
| see the world through the other person's eyes by | | | | SELF - Observation and becoming aware of how |
| asking our children, | | | | others see us is a key skill in being able to 'walk in |
| How do you think your friend feels about this | | | | the other person's shoes.' Ask: * * What is it like for |
| situation? * Can you ask them next time? * Do | | | | your friend at school? * What do you think it would |
| things need to always be your way? | | | | be like to live at their house? |
| * What makes it hard to share? | | | | Values develop as children grow and become an |
| LOVEABLE - Our children need to see that they are | | | | active part of the family. We may believe that they |
| worthy of unconditional love. Discuss unconditional | | | | learn values by us lecturing them. Lecturing is only a |
| love. Parents love their children even if they | | | | small part of the nurturing needed for children to |
| misbehave. Love for their children does not require | | | | learn strong values. Asking them thought-provoking, |
| them to be any particular way. We can ask them: * | | | | age-appropriate questions at each stage of |
| What do you like about yourself? * What do you | | | | development not only helps to develop values, it |
| think I like about you? * What do you think I love | | | | builds a strong foundation for your family. |
| about you? | | | | |