| Mentally abusive relationships are very common. In | | | | ex-husband, had pushed her to the ground and broke |
| fact there would be people in these types of | | | | her arm. He told her it was her fault because, as he |
| relationships, on either side, who may not even be | | | | said, she made him angry. He took no responsibility |
| aware their relationship could be classified this way. | | | | for his actions. |
| This kind of relationship could also be placed in the | | | | When I think of mentally abusive relationships, I recall |
| emotionally abusive relationships category or it might | | | | one woman I saw as a client who stands out as a |
| be in the verbal abusive relationship group. | | | | classic example of what happens to so many women |
| A relationship might be placed in any one of these | | | | in their relationships. |
| groups as a lot of what happens in many relationships | | | | Her husband was like an ogre in the home. He was |
| is covered by these descriptions. | | | | not physically violent, but he had been abusive to her |
| The reason I say people may not be aware their | | | | and their two children in a whole range of other |
| relationship fits into mental abuse bracket, is because | | | | ways for a long time. She was to blame for |
| there are a lot of things that happen in many | | | | everything, especially the abuse. |
| relationships, that are accepted as normal. | | | | Early in our session, I said to her "it (the abuse) has |
| This is not to say in any way that this is acceptable, | | | | nothing to do with you." After I said that, she was |
| it is simply a comment about the state of affairs that | | | | transfixed, motionless, in a trance like state and silent |
| exists in a lot of relationships. | | | | for what seemed like a considerable time. |
| It is also important to say at this stage there is a | | | | Being involved in this mentally abusive relationship, she |
| widespread belief today, that women are as likely as | | | | had been so brainwashed into believing she was |
| men to be abusive in relationships, including mentally | | | | totally to blame for the abuse. |
| abusive relationships. | | | | Eventually she responded and said, "you mean it (the |
| My response to this view is that it is poppycock! In | | | | abuse) has nothing to do with me.?" |
| other words it is nonsense! The issue of abuse | | | | This was such a breakthrough for her. It was so |
| against women has barely got the attention it | | | | evident in her appearance. It took such a load off her |
| warrants, and we have to put up with this rubbish. | | | | mind. She relaxed and became calm. She was |
| It is a red herring, and takes the focus away from | | | | overjoyed as indicated by the huge smile on her |
| where it needs to be and that is addressing the huge | | | | face. |
| issue of violence against women, which is at epidemic | | | | This is an example of one of the key aspects of |
| proportions throughout the world. | | | | mentally abusive relationships. You are bombarded |
| That is not to deny there are some women who are | | | | with an assortment of mental abuse that plays havoc |
| abusive, but there is no way that the incidence of | | | | with your mind. This causes such turmoil you become |
| women being abusive to men is comparable. | | | | a target to accepting beliefs uncritically. |
| There are a broad range of things that occur in | | | | This is just one example I can give you, to |
| mentally abusive relationships. Perhaps one of the | | | | demonstrate and highlight how your mind can so |
| most common things that happens is where women | | | | easily be played with and manipulated to work |
| are constantly told they are to blame. | | | | against yourself. |
| They are to blame for everything, it doesn't matter | | | | The perpetrators in mentally abusive relationships, |
| what it is, including the abuse they are experiencing. | | | | become skilled at using this arsenal, and know how |
| A woman we met socially recently, told us, her now | | | | well it works. |