| What are good rules and rewards for teenagers? | | | | 4. We encourage quiet time for reading and |
| Why do we bother putting rules into place? Limits | | | | reflecting. |
| and guidelines during adolescence are an important | | | | 5. We encourage no junk food during the weekdays. |
| part of getting the budding adult ready to leave | | | | 6. All electronics are off during family time. |
| home. During this preparation time, keeping focused | | | | 7. Facebook, My Space, instant messaging, and |
| on the end result (a successful adult) is important. | | | | texting are privileges that we support as long as |
| When presenting and negotiating rules with your | | | | they are balanced. We support your social |
| adolescent, begin by exploring the potential results of | | | | interactions; however we reserve the absolute right |
| successfully following guidelines. | | | | to monitor any electronic exchange. We will be your |
| Here's what your list might look like: | | | | "friends" on Facebook or MySpace. Any written diary |
| - You've reached maturity when... | | | | or phone calls are clearly your private information. |
| - You choose to be with family and engage politely | | | | The difference is based on safety. We will coach you |
| with them during family time. | | | | on the use of the Internet and what is acceptable to |
| - You manage your own homework and schooling. | | | | write and publish online and we will make sure your |
| - You develop good solid friendships: e.g. consistent, | | | | connections are appropriate. |
| caring and respectful. | | | | 8. Grades are important. We expect B's and above. |
| - You balance your needs versus your wants: e.g. | | | | For Facebook, MySpace and instance messaging |
| schooling versus electronics. | | | | privileges, we need to see B's and above on all work |
| - You spend time every day engaging in housework | | | | brought home or on webgrader (an online grading |
| on your own. | | | | resource) from the week before. Mom and Dad will |
| - You take care of your own stuff such as doing | | | | check on Monday evenings. No missing, F's, or C's on |
| your own laundry and cleaning up after yourself. | | | | your weekly work. The only exception is if you are |
| - You manage your own schedule (academic, work, | | | | absent. Every Monday you have a new chance at |
| home, social). | | | | good grades for the coming week. We have the |
| - You take care of your body by exercising regularly, | | | | right to have you delete your Facebook, MySpace, |
| your nutrition by making good food choices and your | | | | instant messaging, and cell phone accounts if these |
| mind by giving yourself relaxing/reflective time. | | | | rules are not followed. |
| - You manage your own money for entertainment, | | | | 9. If you achieve a ___ (GPA) for the Semester, |
| activities, and clothing by keeping a checkbook and | | | | you get to start driver's education. Chores are |
| budget. | | | | essential. We depend on your participation in |
| - You work outside the home to earn and contribute | | | | managing the household. You get your age in |
| to your own care. | | | | allowance ($1 x 14 = $14) for finishing chores. |
| - You manage your time and inform your parents in | | | | Although we will assign chores generally, our goal is |
| detail and beforehand about your plans and schedule. | | | | for you to look around the house and make helpful |
| - You can cook basic meals. | | | | contributions rather than us having to ask you to do |
| - You volunteer for your community. | | | | a chore. |
| Do all of the above and you've achieved | | | | 10. You need to do your own laundry on Saturdays. |
| INDEPENDENCE and maturity! | | | | 11. You will contribute one meal a week. We will |
| Clearly all of these skills do not have to be | | | | teach you how to cook several meals. |
| accomplished for an adolescent to move away from | | | | 12. You now have your own checking account. We |
| home and succeed, but the majority of parents that | | | | will give you a monthly allowance for your monthly |
| I work with want nothing more than to raise a | | | | entertainment. This will not include your cash |
| well-balanced and independent child. In the meantime, | | | | allowance on Mondays for household chores. This is |
| however, parents have to set rules that slowly but | | | | the money we have always spent on you for |
| surely move the child toward independence. Rule | | | | entertainment (friend's birthdays, movies, etc.) that |
| categories might include: family time, academic | | | | amount you will now manage. You will need to |
| expectations, use of electronics, household | | | | budget it so that you have money throughout the |
| responsibilities, personal responsibilities, financial | | | | month. As you get older, you will receive budgeted |
| responsibilities, social limits, mind and body | | | | money for other expenditures like clothes, cell phone |
| responsibilities, community responsibilities. Here's what | | | | bills, etc. Mom and Dad will help you budget your |
| the rules might look like for a 13-15 year old. | | | | money and learn to use a checking register. |
| Rules: the following are our expectations to help | | | | As the adolescent reaches 16-18 years of age, the |
| guide you toward adulthood. | | | | rules change depending on your child's level of |
| | | | maturity. Teenagers need continued guidance, like the |
| 1. Family time is a priority. We have one day a week | | | | rules offered above, but others need more freedom |
| exclusively for our family as well as family meals on | | | | in order to exert their own judgment. I recommend |
| Tuesday and Thursday. | | | | adding a curfew for adolescents 16 years old and |
| 2. All homework, exercise and chores must be done | | | | above. Allowing for more freedom at this age - |
| before electronics are used. __ (you decide) hour(s) | | | | allowing your children to make more choices, even |
| worth of homework or studying Monday-Thursday | | | | some controversial ones - allows them the freedom |
| and on Saturday so you keep up with projects as | | | | to fail while still under your protective roof. Keep in |
| well as an understanding of the class material. | | | | mind that 18 is just around the corner. Learning |
| 3. We expect some form of exercise for physical | | | | important life lessons in your teens while living at |
| and mental health including walks, sports, and other | | | | home provides a safe environment in which growth |
| exercise programs. | | | | can take place. |