Tips For Great Parenting - Present a United Front For Your Children

We all want to be great parents who help our kidsproblems to the largest issues. If you tell your three
grow into respectable, kind, self-sufficient adults. Ifyear old that he cannot have candy at the grocery
only there were a guide to teach us how! I askedstore, but then your husband buys him a treat, he will
leading experts for some parenting advice, and theylearn at a very young age how to manipulate one or
insist that it's easier than many parents think. Here'sthe other of you. You must establish the ground rules
the first step: present a united front in front of yourtogether so that he doesn't figure out how to
children."work" the system.
It is essential that both parents, or whoever theWhile a disagreement over something as small as a
caregivers are, are on the same page when dealingpiece of candy seems trivial, it's the pattern of
with their children about consequences, rules, andshowing a united front that ultimately matters. When
expectations. "Kids are manipulative and they'll takehe's 16 he sneaks his first beer, he can't think that
advantage," says Marlene McDermott, Marriage andone parent will let him off the hook while the other
Family Therapist at Serenity Counseling in Palmyra, NJ.has made the rules against drinking clear.
For example, if one parent gives the child aParents must agree on general rules of the house
month-long grounding, but the other parent cuts it toand make every member aware of them. If you
two weeks, the child recognizes that there is "wiggledon't agree, work out differences behind closed
room," explains Marlene. "Clearly they're not on thedoors, away from the child and then return with an
same page and the kid knows where the loophole is."answer. Never let the kid see that and always
This rule is important always....from the tiniestpresent as a united front.