| Does it sometimes seem as if your child doesn't hear | | | | Do you label your child? Do you find yourself calling |
| a word you say? Do you tell him to do something | | | | him "stubborn" or "bully" or "messy" or even "bad"? |
| and it never gets done? Do you give him advice and | | | | The problem with labeling is that the child most likely |
| he does the opposite? Many parents feel the children | | | | will live up to the label. The "bad" child feels that any |
| are at fault when they don't listen - but, most often, | | | | attempt to be good will be ignored. Sometimes they |
| the blame lies with the parent. | | | | act out badly just to get back at their parents for |
| Parents need to think about their approach when | | | | labeling them. The reckless child continues to be |
| they want their children to listen and respond. | | | | reckless because parents expect it. |
| Your attitude when talking with your children is | | | | If you have labeled your child in the past, now is the |
| important. Do you throw your hands up and shake | | | | time to begin "un-labeling" him or changing the labels. |
| your head as if you are at the end of your rope with | | | | Start finding good qualities in your child and use those |
| your child? In order for a child to be receptive, he | | | | to label. He may be "messy", but perhaps he is also |
| must feel safe - not just save from being punished. | | | | "smart". Drop the messy label and use the smart one. |
| He must feel safe from ridicule and disappointment. | | | | She may be "clumsy", but is she also "pretty"? Drop |
| Ask yourself if you have ever said something to | | | | the clumsy label and use the pretty one. |
| make your child feel ashamed. If you want a good | | | | If you find yourself saying "Stop teasing your sister", |
| relationship with your child, you will build up his self | | | | change it to "Be nice to your sister". If you catch |
| esteem. Your child needs to know that he can trust | | | | yourself saying "Stop acting like a baby", change it to |
| you to help him, not ridicule him. | | | | "Please act mature." |
| Children need to have their feelings accepted and | | | | Parents who constantly complain that their child |
| respected. If all they hear from their parent is | | | | never listens need to ask themselves if they would |
| disrespect, they stop hearing anything the parent has | | | | listen to someone who talked to them the way they |
| to say. | | | | talk to their kids. Ask yourself now. Be honest with |
| You don't have to agree with your child's desire to | | | | your answer. It's the only way that you can change |
| get a belly ring, but you better respect their feelings | | | | the way you approach your children. Your children |
| if you want them to listen to what you tell them. | | | | can't change until you change. |