| Empathy: The ability to identify with and experience | | | | the opposite may make it easier, but I encourage |
| the vicarious feelings, thoughts or attitudes of | | | | you to develop your skills and not use something |
| another person. | | | | opposite once you've got the hang of it.] |
| This can be a huge benefit when we're persuading. | | | | And break the state again. |
| First, an exercise to get into the mindsets of our | | | | This is the fun part. Have them think either 'A' or 'B' |
| affluent clientèle. . . | | | | without telling you which one they're choosing. Which |
| This is about responding to your client or prospect's | | | | one are they thinking about? You need to figure this |
| experiences. In a previous article I wrote about the | | | | out just by looking at them. Which snapshot are you |
| pink bubble, and how to use that for rapport building. | | | | viewing? |
| Well, in this exercise, we're going to figuratively | | | | Switch roles after a few tries and let them |
| experience what they experience. | | | | experience what you're thinking. This exercise helps |
| And when you do this, you build up in your prospects | | | | you really know the people you're dealing with. |
| and clients a huge amount of trust. Rapport is right | | | | Of course you're not going to practice this and role |
| around the corner. | | | | play with your prospects. This is an exercise to |
| This comes naturally with loved ones--friends, family, | | | | fine-tune your observation skills and should be done |
| spouse--because we know and understand them | | | | with friends or co-workers. |
| deeply. By using empathy with your prospects, | | | | Eventually you'll be able to recognize the smallest of |
| people you maybe don't know very well, this rapport | | | | changes in their states as you talk with them. |
| and insight will come just as naturally. | | | | And maybe they won't exactly be able to pinpoint |
| You're going to need a partner for this, so find | | | | the feelings they are getting, but they will feel a |
| someone willing to role play with you. | | | | connection with you. |
| Here's the exercise: Ask your partner to think of | | | | What's the point? It's just another way to gain fast |
| something. Anything. And call it 'A'. As they answer, | | | | and powerful rapport at the same time putting your |
| notice their body, how it's arranged, watch their face, | | | | prospect into a state where they are feeling |
| their breathing, their muscle tension, whether they're | | | | understood. |
| fidgeting, and take a snapshot in your head of what | | | | You can also use this to determine if someone's lying |
| this looks like. Along with your mental snapshot, say | | | | to you. |
| to yourself, 'This is how they represent 'A'.' | | | | If someone explains that their finances are "perfect" |
| Break this state by having them stand up, walk | | | | but they are slouched or some other physical clue |
| around briefly, and name three things that they can | | | | tells you they're being incongruous, this is really a |
| see in the room. . . a coffee cup, photograph, | | | | dead giveaway that they don't have an ideal financial |
| bookshelf. . .etc. This reverts them back to their | | | | picture. |
| normal state. | | | | These and other persuasion strategies can be used |
| The next step is to have them think of something | | | | to help your prospect open up, feel that sense of |
| entirely different--not opposite, just different--and call | | | | trust and rapport, and get to the heart of issues so |
| this thought 'B'. | | | | that you can become the answer to their problems if |
| [NOTE: When you first do this exercise thinking of | | | | the situation warrants. |