| If you are serious about spiritual growth and self | | | | themselves. The last place on Earth they wanted to |
| help, then a group is practically indispensable in getting | | | | go was a self help group. Desperation and disaster |
| you where you need to go. It is a fundamental truth | | | | finally leave them no other option and they fall into |
| in psychology and self help that you simply cannot | | | | AA to ask for help. |
| overcome your problems alone. You need people | | | | Another common example that we see over and |
| who have been where you are and who have gone | | | | over in self help groups is the pattern of controlling |
| through the struggles you likely will go through as | | | | behavior. People tend to avoid the fact that they are |
| well. Even if your problem is the inability to be alone, | | | | powerless over others and seek out relationships |
| it is likely that you can get some help from other | | | | where they can control someone either through |
| people who use to be afraid of this but who found a | | | | money or manipulation, always feeling that they are |
| way to face their fear and are now completely | | | | never satisfied with anyone they meet. They |
| comfortable with being alone. | | | | struggle with anger issues and feelings of rage when |
| A self help group is one of the best ways to make a | | | | they don't get what they want and their marriages |
| serious change because the others in the group will | | | | and relationships with their children suffer as a result. |
| keep you honest. We all know how to lie to | | | | Finding themselves at the end of their rope, they |
| ourselves and pretend as though we are making a | | | | may finally turn to a counselor or therapist for help |
| change even when we are not. We run from place | | | | but find that no therapist seems "good enough" for |
| to place talking about how we want to change and | | | | them either. Because of a problem that is simply too |
| reading every book in sight but we are experts at | | | | big to ignore, they may stay around the therapist's |
| avoiding the true issue beneath the surface. Our | | | | office for several months and, if they are lucky |
| biggest fears are buried deep inside and we look for | | | | enough to listen to an expert just a little, they may |
| any way to avoid them so that we won't have to | | | | finally have a breakthrough where they can finally |
| face ourselves. Self help groups force us top be | | | | see their own self centered behavior up close. |
| honest because everyone there can see through our | | | | Therapists are trained to help a person see their own |
| lies and it becomes much harder to continue the | | | | behavior in a way that is impossible for them to see |
| same old behavior that we have been doing up until | | | | on their own. It's a big difference between a person |
| now. | | | | who can say they are a "control freak" and a person |
| As an example, it will help to consider some specific | | | | who can actually employ the courage to experience |
| problems that people struggle with and eventually | | | | the fear of letting go. This is what others can help us |
| find help in a self help group. One of the most | | | | to do and why self help groups are now so |
| common of these is alcoholism. For years, alcoholics | | | | successful. |
| rationalize their problem with drinking and go through | | | | As much as we all wish we could do it all on our own, |
| scores of relationships wherein they will do and say | | | | nobody is all-powerful and we all can benefit from an |
| anything in order to continue drinking. Divorce, loss of | | | | outside perspective once in a while. As the famous |
| job, loss of house and loss of family are all typical | | | | saying goes, "You can't unscrew your screwed up |
| patterns for alcoholics even if these losses take place | | | | head with your screwed up head!" Having the humility |
| over the course of decades. Eventually, the alcoholic | | | | to see that you need a little help might just bring you |
| looks back over their life and realizes they've been | | | | the courage to seek one out. Your spiritual growth |
| running from one simple truth. They can't stop | | | | will be increased tenfold when you follow through and |
| drinking. Hundreds of people had already seen the | | | | make a self help group part of your ongoing spiritual |
| problem in the alcoholic but they couldn't see it | | | | progress. |