| Are you wondering if your family dynamics during the | | | | encouraging each family member to identify his or |
| holidays are going to scare off your son's new | | | | her core values. A core value is about being, not |
| in-laws? Welcoming his wife and her parents into the | | | | about doing. For example, you may set a goal of |
| fold is another chapter in your family's history. And | | | | being a more secure and satisfied person rather than |
| integrating them into the holiday festivities has the | | | | one of having a lot of money. Decide to live up to |
| potential for its' own complications. | | | | these standards by taking action as you all create a |
| Wendy and Jim started to prepare for their | | | | more congruent way of life. |
| daughter-in-law's parents' first visit right after | | | | 4. Pause to recognize and focus on the talents, skills |
| Thanksgiving. Aside from getting the tree up, the | | | | and positive character traits of others, as well as |
| shopping completed, the house in order and the food | | | | your own. Serve as a role model for your extended |
| cooked, there was the emotional piece. Wendy | | | | family as you openly acknowledge these personal |
| commented, "It's important that we all feel | | | | strengths. |
| comfortable but, really, I'm the one who has to to | | | | 5. If you're ready to be a guest instead of the host, |
| relax. I want to let go of my need to have | | | | make this holiday season a rite of passage. Whether |
| everything just so and truly honor them as guests in | | | | you're edging your kidults out of the nest or taking a |
| our home." | | | | well deserved respite for yourself, begin to shift the |
| Are you ready to take the conversation up a notch | | | | responsibility of family get-togethers to the next |
| or two this year and talk about more than the | | | | generation. |
| holiday decorations? Are you tired of preparing the | | | | 6. Pass on the family legacy. Let your adult children |
| Christmas dinner and anxious to pass the baton to | | | | know how much you value keeping the family close. |
| the younger generation? Use some of the following | | | | Teach by example as they watch how you lovingly |
| tips, those that apply specifically to your family's | | | | take care of your own aging parents. |
| situation, to create new holiday rituals: | | | | 7. Encourage the younger members of the family to |
| 1. Make a conscious decision to put aside | | | | preserve the old traditions and give them your |
| misunderstandings and differences so that you can | | | | support as they create customs of their own. Try to |
| enjoy the family time together. Arrive at dinner with | | | | remember to express your appreciation as they |
| an open mind, no complaints and an accepting heart. | | | | develop new family attitudes and holiday behaviors. |
| 2. Before the meal, begin a conversation about | | | | Whether your emerging adult children decide to |
| gratitude. Have your children, in-laws and parents talk | | | | create new wave recipes or cook in the microwave, |
| about what they are thankful for and how feeling | | | | it's now out of your control. Sit back and relax - all |
| grateful can become a daily and more active part of | | | | you have to do is pass the mashed potatoes and |
| their lives. | | | | gravy. |
| 3. During dinner, deepen the discussion by | | | | |