| Are you wondering if your family dynamics
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| | by encouraging each family member to
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| during the holidays are going to scare
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| | identify his or her core values. A core
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| off your son's new in-laws? Welcoming
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| | value is about being, not about doing.
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| his wife and her parents into the fold is
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| | For example, you may set a goal of being
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| another chapter in your family's history.
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| | a more secure and satisfied person rather
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| And integrating them into the holiday
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| | than one of having a lot of money.
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| festivities has the potential for its'
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| | Decide to live up to these standards by
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| own complications.
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| | taking action as you all create a more
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| Wendy and Jim started to prepare for
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| | congruent way of life.
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| their daughter-in-law's parents' first
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| | 4. Pause to recognize and focus on the
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| visit right after Thanksgiving. Aside
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| | talents, skills and positive character
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| from getting the tree up, the shopping
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| | traits of others, as well as your own.
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| completed, the house in order and the
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| | Serve as a role model for your extended
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| food cooked, there was the emotional
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| | family as you openly acknowledge these
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| piece. Wendy commented, "It's important
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| | personal strengths.
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| that we all feel comfortable but, really,
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| | 5. If you're ready to be a guest instead
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| I'm the one who has to to relax. I want
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| | of the host, make this holiday season a
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| to let go of my need to have everything
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| | rite of passage. Whether you're edging
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| just so and truly honor them as guests in
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| | your kidults out of the nest or taking a
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| our home."
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| | well deserved respite for yourself, begin
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| Are you ready to take the conversation up
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| | to shift the responsibility of family
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| a notch or two this year and talk about
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| | get-togethers to the next generation.
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| more than the holiday decorations? Are
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| | 6. Pass on the family legacy. Let your
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| you tired of preparing the Christmas
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| | adult children know how much you value
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| dinner and anxious to pass the baton to
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| | keeping the family close. Teach by
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| the younger generation? Use some of the
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| | example as they watch how you lovingly
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| following tips, those that apply
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| | take care of your own aging parents.
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| specifically to your family's situation,
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| | 7. Encourage the younger members of the
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| to create new holiday rituals:
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| | family to preserve the old traditions and
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| 1. Make a conscious decision to put aside
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| | give them your support as they create
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| misunderstandings and differences so that
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| | customs of their own. Try to remember to
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| you can enjoy the family time together.
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| | express your appreciation as they develop
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| Arrive at dinner with an open mind, no
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| | new family attitudes and holiday
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| complaints and an accepting heart.
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| | behaviors.
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| 2. Before the meal, begin a conversation
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| | Whether your emerging adult children
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| about gratitude. Have your children,
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| | decide to create new wave recipes or cook
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| in-laws and parents talk about what they
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| | in the microwave, it's now out of your
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| are thankful for and how feeling grateful
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| | control. Sit back and relax - all you
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| can become a daily and more active part
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| | have to do is pass the mashed potatoes
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| of their lives.
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| | and gravy.
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| 3. During dinner, deepen the discussion
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